Tonight was a very significant night. Not because of anything that happened to me but because of what we all could see happening.

My blended family was reminded of the pain of a shaken family. In these moments one may relive their own past and let hurt back into their hearts, but we did not.

We found strength in each other and witnessed God’s hand moving our hearts to good.

It is important to support one another through trials and tribulations. However, if you are someone battling a shaken family rather than a blended one… pray. Don’t get stuck praying for an outcome you prefer, remove selfish thoughts. Pray for the other parent(s). Pray that they find peace and God’s path.

Love those who haven’t given you a reason to love and you will see God work what no man could.

When you have a goal or dream in mind and you feel the odds are against you…know that you can find peace in the “in-between”. Peace doesn’t mean that you give up or give in, it simply means that you know there’s more road to travel before you reach your destination.

Even in the smallest of moments, God can move mountains. When you feel like crumbling, God can give you strength.

Like I have mentioned before, my blended life was not rainbows and bunnies in the beginning. We struggled. We fell and wondered how on earth we would ever get back up again. But those moments made us stronger. We are bonded and blended. We found joy after a journey that we often prayed would be much shorter than it was. There is much to be learned of ourselves and others, especially in times of vulnerability.

Don’t give in, don’t give up, but let God. Surrender those reigns that aren’t really controlling your horses…

Live in the waiting and learn from the circumstances that come your way. In every moment, think about how God can use you, what he could be teaching you, or even how he may be blessing you… we won’t always see it in the moment but if we learn to cherish even the hard times we may understand the blessing it brought later on.

Live in the waiting. Find peace in the waiting. Never give up.

It has been a little while since my last blog, my apologies. We spent our winter break (Christmas/New Years) together and enjoyed every moment we could. I could never properly explain how wonderful it felt to enjoy this time together rather than feeling burdened by each other’s presence.

I found myself looking forward to what we would do next together rather than anticipating the moment we were apart. I feel even closer to my wifey and her husband than I have ever been.

There is a beauty in feeling a bond with those that you know you will spend your entire future around. A peace comes over you knowing that you are heading in the right direction and not fearing what will come next. I will never say that we see eye-to-eye on everything in our kids’ lives, but we all understand there will be differences and do not expect each other to conform to our own ways.

It is important for our children to feel safe, secure, loved and wanted by all of their parents. I don’t mean that they should feel this way when they are with one set of parents, but when they are with all at once or separate.

I grew up very different from the way my kids are growing up. My parents divorced when I was a teenager. My father never said anything negative about my mother (though I’m sure he had things on his mind when anything occurred). However, my mother would complain about my father and wanted me to know how she felt about things that happened or were happening. I don’t want that for my children. I want them to feel the way I felt when I was with my dad. Safe, secure, loved and wanted.

Children today go through even more than we had to as kids. I can say this, because I went through far more than many will ever know. Yet, the generation we are raising, get the added joy of dealing with social media (sarcasm applied). Not the friendliest for someone who is still learning about themselves. Even when we shield our children from social media, they still know of its existence and are living in the immediate gratification generation.

It is only fair to our children to be their peace in the chaotic world. Stop blaming the other parent, stop blaming yourself, and come together to find the life that your children deserve.

I love my blended family and am working to make it even better each step of the way. What better way to raise my kids than with love at every turn?!

Those who are in a similar situation, I hope you find peace and love that is both splendid and blended.

Here is a little insight to holidays with our blendedness…

We were all joined together this morning and spent the whole day together. We had Christmas at our house, ate some breakfast, the kids opened presents, we goofed off a little and then headed to my mother in law’s house. Yes, all of us. It was as if this family I was surrounded with had been my family my entire life. We told stories, made jokes, and got to love on a beautiful newborn baby. There was no drama, no attitudes, and lots of love.

When the kids are reunited it’s as if they never spent time apart. They are siblings and this means sibling arguments are inevitable but it never tears them apart. They show love and kindness even when things get tough.

Some of my favorite moments are when us coparents team up in a playful manner against each other. Now I know what you are thinking, but it is not that… me and my wifey team up on our men. We are goofy, understanding, and have a great time. We have connected like many people find impossible. Silly people forget that with God all things are possible.

It is not a competition, it is about creating the best life we can for our kids and making it enjoyable for us as well.

Christmas is tough for many people, including myself. However, this Christmas was the perfect mixture of relaxation and fun with the family.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Let me take you behind the scenes of my blendedness. Is it perfect? Of course not, we have our struggles and our moments where we just want things to be different. But let’s be real… is life perfect? Are any of us perfect? Absolutely not. We have learned to communicate on a regular basis rather than only when necessary. After learning this, we learned something very important…we get along and enjoy being around each other. All of the issues we had or thought we had with our differing parenting styles slowly disappeared. We agreed on so much and continue to. How do the kids handle this? Well, they have their moments where they would prefer we didnt talk about everything because they can’t get things passed us as easily. It is a great relationship and I am constantly blessed to have the family that I do.

When I was a little girl, dreaming of the way my life would be as a woman, I never dreamed of this. I thought of being married and having four kids in a beautiful home. I have always liked the saying, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” Man, was he laughing when I planned my future.

I didn’t know then that God had a better future for me than I could have dreamed. I now have three amazing kids, a husband I couldn’t have ever hoped for, a wife in law that I wouldn’t trade, a friend in my LNGs stepdad, and so much more.

I know it can seem hard to believe and many may think it is just a show rather than reality, but it is my life. Let me put it into perspective for you all…

My FNB daughter looks forward to her siblings being with us but loves when they come with their mom and stepdad. The bond for my family is so strong that my FNB has asked what she calls my wife in law because she is family and most family have names: aunt, uncle, dad, mom, papa, etc. We haven’t come up with that name yet but it is deserving.

I couldn’t have dreamed of this life but it is far better than I could have imagined. God knows what he is doing and we often can’t see his hands working in our lives. We must have faith and strive to see what others may not. Some may see my life as complicated, and I am not saying that it isn’t but what they don’t see is all the love we share. My family is unique and something I wouldn’t trade.

I know what most people think. Blended family is just when kids have two sets of parents that simply tolerate each other for their kids. This is by far the most ridiculous concept. Yes, some blendeds must start that way but that should be the first step not the last.

My blended family began shaken and stirred. There was tension surrounding every decision and every step. The kids were young enough at the time to not understand this entirely though they felt it. I was hesitant to do things with my own flesh and blood (FNB) child simply because I thought someone would look at it and wonder why I wasn’t doing it with my kids from love not genetics (LNG). I was always wondering what other people thought. I also had this fear of balance… am I loving LNG too much or not enough. Ultimately, this took away from what all of my kids experienced. I hesitated rather than lived in the moment. I wanted everything to work out and to be this fairytale blended family but didn’t know how to get there. I have always had respect for their mother and felt I did not measure up to the mother that she is and was scared that she knew it. You may start asking yourself, how on earth did this change? What’s the secret?

Let me just say, things happen on God’s time. We just have to trust in him and know that it’s okay to be at a point of confusion or live in the unknown of what’s to come. The important thing is to know that God is at work and to trust in him.

So, let’s fast forward a bit. God had a plan and through him, my spouse and I found our way. My LNG’s mom and stepdad also found their way to God. It was as if God took two different vehicles that were running away from each other, down opposite sides of the highway and slowly guided them along to the same path without any traffic or detours. We found a bond that is hard to explain, but through time I hope to give everyone an understanding of this Splendidly Blended Family of mine.

Don’t give up on what can be. Don’t listen to others tell you that blended families cannot work. Listen to God and seek his guidance in all things and you will find your way. You could even be like me and have found the most unexpectedly amazing friend that no one can seem to comprehend, the mother of my LNGs.

I have been considering a blog to discuss my lovely blended family. Blended doesn’t have to be chaos and distress, it can be of pure love. Don’t believe me? Just wait until I begin full blogs! 🙂 You will be a believer by the time I’m done with you. 🙂 🙂

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton